1) THE FALSE TWIN FLAME / RESEARCHING STAGE:
6 years ago, I was dating a narcissist. I was very confused about the relationship, and I also felt very guilty to leave the relationship. Early on in the relationship, I felt pulled to Google my question…”Why is my girlfriend making me feel this way?”.
The first set of search results led to other search results. Eventually, I stumbled upon articles that covered the topic of soulmates and twin flames. I always knew what a soulmate was, but I never heard of the whole twin flame thing…
Shortly after reading about twin flames, I became immediately fascinated. I researched the topic thoroughly, wanting to know every last detail. My life began to make sense to me for the first time.
As a result, I wanted to then determine who my ex was to me. Was she a true twin flame, a false twin flame, or a karmic soulmate???
There were certain aspects of the relationship that fooled me into thinking that it could perhaps have been a true twin flame experience. That was until when I re-watched a video one evening after our final vacation that listed many signs of a false twin flame specifically. Every single sign checked off. My eyes opened wide. I realized that my true twin flame was still out there in the world. I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting myself into, but really I had no idea until I actually experienced it with my own eyes.
The next day after watching that video, I packed my things up once more and I left for good this time.
2) HOW I WAS LED TO MEETING HER / HOW I MET HER (MY TRUE TWIN FLAME):
OK, I want to start off by saying that I wasn’t SO QUICK to put a label on this person who I believed to have been my true twin flame…
I was actually fairly skeptical about the concept (even though it did generate a ton of excitement and curiosity in me).
BUT, I specifically wrote in my journal one day during another dark night of the soul the following: “Dear God, I am ready to meet my TRUE twin flame. Please lead me to her in a way that I will know as clear as crystal!”. Lol I wrote it a bit differently than that but you get the gist. I capitalized the word true because I knew that I had already gone through a false twin flame experience and wanted to ensure that I would be meeting my true one this time around.
Shortly after writing this in my journal, I was told I should go to a Tony Robbin’s seminar. I went and on the second day of the seminar I receive a download from spirit that said I will meet her on the last day of the event. I asked spirit “why on the last day?”. Spirit said “because this way you two won’t be distracted from the rest of the event and we are saving it as a special surprise”.
Sure enough, I checked the event schedule and the last day was on November 11th (which is well known to be a highly spiritual day that has to do with twin flames and soulmates). It felt like a strong validation in regards to the download I received from spirit.
The last day came. I chose seat #11 to be in alignment with this whole November 11th thing and I also was paying attention to the time on my phone. The time starting with 11:11, changing to 12:22, 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, and then 5:55. I felt something was about to happen, and it did.
I saw her in the crowd, several rows down from me. I saw her running up and down the staircase. It hit me on a heart and soul level (full throttle) that I HAD to introduce myself to her. I was getting nervous, thinking of what to say as an opener, and then all of the sudden the final exercise at the event was announced. It was called a twin heart’s meditation (which is pretty damn close to twin flame, don’t you think?).
I began the exercise. Choose a partner, look into their eyes, and hold your hands out at a small distance. Give unconditional love. The eyes are the window into the soul the announcer said. I was thinking holy cow, you really can’t get more twin flame than this based on what I read online?! Also, I went from not ever wanting to get married or have children to suddenly feeling like I do with this person. I could not believe it. I thought it was literally impossible!
After this mind blowing meeting where I felt full of joy and unconditional love radiating from myself and her, I took down her number to stay in touch.
3) THE PERFECT SYNCHRONICITIES/ MANIFESTATIONS / SIGNS:
Now at this point while I was absolutely thrilled that I ACTUALLY had the exact experience that these online people were referring to, I all of the sudden became very anxious.
I became very anxious because I remembered the information also said that it’s highly likely that she will already be in a relationship with someone else. Which made me think then what the hell is the point of having the most beautiful experience of my life if that means the buck stops at friendship? But I couldn’t help myself. I felt called to follow what my heart and soul wanted. I felt that it was worth the risk of discovering that the feeling may not be mutual after all. Then began the perfect synchronicities.
1 – I was working with a twin flame coach at the time. I explained that I was feeling anxious since she didn’t text me back after 4 days since first texting her. The coach instructed me to close my eyes and give myself love for a while. As soon as I was done doing that, I opened my eyes and saw that this girl I believed to be my twin finally texted me back.
2 – I renamed my own phone number contact “My True Twin Flame”. I had a problem with my Apple Watch and took it to the Apple store to get it fixed. After I got it fixed I came home and saw my contact list. It said My True Twin Flame and right underneath it was her contact. While I thought it was a one time fluke, it happened again and again. The contacts would separate in the text message threads but then eventually come back together without me doing anything to make it happen.
3 – I began to see her first and last name in so many places all of the sudden. I further tested this by utilizing the method I channeled to reveal the name of my true twin flame and sure enough her name would show up even more frequently! How To Reveal The Name Of Your True Twin Flame Or Soulmate – YouTube
4 – I received more downloaded messages from spirit. In the very beginning of texting her, the communication was rather weak. She would write me just enough back, and sometimes just stopped answering altogether. Spirit suggested I pick up food from a bar on a night I knew she was working because she told me so when she spoke to me on the phone. Of course I was nervous going thinking I was a creep or a stalker (which was honestly a big part of this experience) but I went anyway. To my surprise she was glad to see me. There was still those big smiles and long gazes in one another’s eyes happening. Energetically it felt like it was out of a movie scene. Then as New Year’s was approaching I asked God if he could have me be with my true twin flame on NYE that would be amazing. I surrendered and let it go, and honestly thought it was impossible that this would happen since I didn’t hear from her at this point. Also, I was coming once again unannounced which triggered that worry in me that I was being creepy. I was concerned she may have been with someone else, that I wouldn’t find her there etc., but sure enough as I stood on line I turned my head to see that she was there, working there that night. She turned her head to see me standing on line and smiled. It felt like she was happy to see me. Once again this made me feel very validated in regards to the spirit downloads I was getting. However, after that very interesting evening, I still heard nothing from her. So at this point I labeled myself as this creep/stalker and said I was delusional. That I need to let go and give it up.
5 – I did give up for months, but I kept seeing her post about a beginner yoga class. And one day while walking the family dog, spirit said I should go to the class. So I said “fuck it, I’ll go!”. To my surprise she was very happy to see me, even though I came unannounced once again. Also, before parking my car on one side of the street, something made me feel that I should park on the other side of the street. Little did I know I ended up parking right behind her car. And every time I came to her yoga class I did find a spot either in front or in back of her car. The one time there wasn’t a spot, I proceeded to find somewhere else to park but then someone pulled out of their spot that was right behind her car. Again, don’t you think this all so far a bit too much to call just a freakin’ coincidence???
6 – One day I was driving to her yoga class and I thought to myself how nice it would be if it could be just 1 on 1 with her instead of other people showing up. I thought to myself “Nah! that’s not going to happen!”. What do you know, the very same day it ended up being just her and I and no one else…and I’m pretty sure I would see the clock say 11:11 during those classes.
7 – She and I did our hypnotist training separately in different locations, but around the same time. Furthermore, after not hearing from her in a while, she texted me towards the end of my hypnotist training, wondering how my Summer was going and if I wanted an essential oil refill. I told her sure! Called her up to set up a time and place to meet. She agreed to meet me at Starbucks.
4) THE SUDDEN CHANGES IN OUR DYNAMIC:
OK so I want you to understand that this was a sudden and big change from my perspective because all of the times prior I would meet her at her job. She told me that her boyfriend wasn’t comfortable with her meeting me even for lunch as friends. I understood this and respected the boundaries always. I was a gentleman about it the whole time and wasn’t going to be a dick about it (even though I could have been). This again was crazy enough of a dynamic and I was treading lightly since I would want the same respect if someone were with me in a relationship…
BUT anyway so I was thinking that this was really interesting that this was happening all of the sudden. Furthermore, she didn’t just give me the essential oils and depart, she actually let me buy her coffee, sit down and chat.
I made her laugh a bit. Then we got talking about the Dark Night Of The Soul at one point. There was always a wonderful dialogue between us. I felt truly understood and heard by her. She would listen actively and intently to me. Of course I held equal space for her. I wanted to know and understand her soul. I wanted to know about her inner child. I wanted her to know that she could genuinely trust me. I was so surprised and happy that I got the pleasure of meeting her mother and her father. This was not a lust thing for me, this was the feeling that I met my other half for the first time in my life and I couldn’t understand why I would meet her when she was unavailable.
Then at one point she told me she had to leave to go on a walk with her dad, but gave me the essential oils for free. This was also unusual because prior to this I was always paying her for her classes and her oils. And then I told her she should follow me on IG. She said she was taking a social media break, deleted the app, but would follow me. I thought myself “Lol, she isn’t going to follow me.” Sure enough, I go home that day, take a nap and wake up to see that she was following me. So I thought, wow…like what the heck happened? I also thought it was peculiar that when I asked her how things with her and her boyfriend were she just said “Good!” but did not elaborate. Which gave me the feeling like things weren’t good…furthermore, at another point she had pictures up on IG with him for some time as well as his name in the bio. But then one day it all came down followed by her putting up pictures by herself. I’ve seen this happen many times where when a woman breaks up with someone they immediately change the pictures back to just themselves. Again, I thought I was on to something. That this was a validation that she was in an on and off relationship with a narcissist (also known as a karmic soulmate).
And OH JEEZ do I know what it’s like to be sucked back into an unhealthy relationship! However, regardless if I am right or wrong about this situation I wish her well. I still want her to be happy even if she chose someone else. Of course I had to battle this out with my ego for a long time before I came to this place of consciousness. I also couldn’t believe that I would ever encounter at least an equally epic experience such as this and feared I would end up dying alone. That was until recently.
I had prayed and hoped that she would have an awakening (like many folks out there who too believe to be in a true twin flame dynamic) and I was confident that she would have a sudden realization about me since I took her to be so spiritually attuned. But it ultimately comes down to free will, and you can’t force someone to love you back in the way you’d like it to be.
Do I miss our time together? Absolutely. But I have no choice except to “move on”. I did all that I could do. It is her life and I don’t blame her for thinking that us being twin flames is bullshit. It seems illogical. We were just friends and I was just a client. But all I do know is that what I saw, I can’t ever unsee.
I can’t unsee me telling her how I felt about her early on but then all of the sudden when I had done nothing wrong, suddenly it’s an issue. I can’t unsee me asking her out several times, and instead of telling me to get lost or block me, we started to get closer in our friendship. I can’t unsee me telling her that I believed we were twin flames after she asked me if I knew who my twin flame was and her responding in a positive way on the phone call, not wanting to hang up. But then later on telling me she “thinks she knows who she is supposed to be with”. I can’t unsee her being an avid supporter of me when I was just starting out with this whole Ascension Express thing. I can’t unsee her starting to reach out to me more and more, constantly checking my IG, and then suddenly disconnecting from me as if I meant nothing to her.
Which led me to ask myself, was I dealing with a narcissist all along disguised as an empath? Was my experience just a wild figment of my imagination leaving me to wonder what is real and what isn’t? Is this all just a big part of the plan that has to happen in order to make an impossible miracle to happen? Or was this my true twin flame acting as a karmic catalyst, to help me grow as a person and lead me to someone else?
Honestly, I do not have the answer right now, but all that I can tell you is that I don’t regret having met her and knowing her. Even though it also caused me the most intense/hellish pain I’ve ever had to endure. Leaving me feeling like there literally was no more point to me life (and wanting to end it). I never thought I could feel this way about the opposite sex. Not for nothing this experience made me truly understand what unconditional love means.